The REAL enemy
By Ron & Ann Mainse
Over the years Hollywood has done its best to portray the life of a married couple – the ups, the downs, the fights and the making up. With a couple of notable exceptions, most of the time Hollywood has gotten it all wrong. The movie, War of the Roses, wasn’t really about Mr. and Mrs. Rose and Sleeping with the Enemy actually had little to do with who’s lying next to you.
Oh, every marriage has an enemy, make no mistake about it. It just might not be the enemy you imagine. Your enemy is NOT your spouse! This enemy has plans to destroy everything beautiful in your marriage, and he will do that by whatever means it takes. Some of his ways are subtle, while others are in-your-face bold. But no matter how you slice it, his end goal is the death of your marriage.
Jesus said in John 10:10 that the “thief,” your enemy, Satan, wants to “steal, kill and destroy” your life… and that includes your marriage. He will stop at nothing to make that happen. But the good news is that we can see what he’s up to and we are not powerless against him. Jesus finished that sentence about the thief with these words… “But I have come that you might have a full and abundant life.” We need to tap into God’s power available through Jesus!
In fact, if we really think about it, we can identify some of the strategies that are like wedges the enemy drives into marriages to split them apart. One of his favourite wedges is the lie: “There’s no hope for us.” Once you give into the “hopeless” mindset, your enemy is going to feed it… and taunt you with it… and bring people into your life that will reinforce it… and before you know it, it’s no longer just a lie you believe but a death sentence to your marriage. You each need people in your lives who are in favour of your marriage. Don’t believe the “hopeless” lie. If there is breath in your body and God in your life,there IS hope!
Another wedge the enemy uses is “busyness.” It’s been said that good is the enemy of the best. Work is good. Taking care of the kids is good. Connecting with friends is good. But doing any of that at the expense of your marriage is BAD.
Re-evaluate your priorities: 1. God. 2. Spouse. 3. Kids. You may have to re-visit them every day until it sinks in. And then do it again. The enemy of your marriage knows that we tend to gravitate to those things that take the least from us and give the most to us. The easiest, most self-fulfilling option is always the most tempting, and maintaining proper priorities takes work. Don’t let your enemy pull you away from the most important things in life. Your marriage is worth it!
Finally, there are so many more wedges we could mention like selfishness, secrets, anger, criticism, pornography, neglect… and the list goes on. You know the wedges that the enemy might be driving, right now, into your relationship.
Remember, you are NOT helpless. When you’ve done heart business with God and received Him into your life, you have access to all the power you need to defeat the enemy and render him powerless against what God is building in the two of you.
Grow in God… spend time with Him in prayer… read His word… have the support of a church family… talk to a trusted friend who knows the power of God. With God’s help, be the first one in your marriage to take steps to push out those wedges. As you do, you will begin to discover marriage as God intended.
Remember, closer to God… means closer to each other.
The REAL enemy